bookcrazy23: (Default)
2010-09-25 07:45 pm
Entry tags:

more musings, final musings, about The Tiger's Child

I finally finished the book; I have to read those books slowly because it's all so powerful and emotional and overwhelming.

And it was.... Wow. I'll have a hard time condensing my feelings/reactions into a review, that's for sure. It was so amazing and sad and serious and it's definitely one of those books that really makes you THINK. Like, sometimes I actually put down the book and just sat there thinking, about what was going on, about Sheila's past during One Child, about everything.

Like, it was really really interesting and confusing and shocking to realize that maybe, possibly, Torey did more harm then good back when Sheila was six. That maybe Sheila would have been better off never having been in her class. I mean, here's this small young little thing, this so seriously deprived little child, and omg she just melts your heart and of course you want so badly to help her. And when I read the first book, I was so completely behind Torey and what she was doing that I didn't even think about what might happen later. But reading about what Sheila went through after she left that class.... For five months she was introduced to things she had never known, a WORLD she had never known existed. Luxuries like cleanliness, attention, toys, books, LOVE... things she had never really known she was missing so much. Kinda like, until then, she probably didn't realize just how deprived her life really was, because it's all she'd ever known. And then she gets used to all this stuff... And then it's gone. Torey leaves, and of course she didn't mean it to go this way, but when Torey left Sheila didn't get better and better. It went back to the way it was before Torey, before that class, except this time Sheila KNEW just how deprived her life really was, she knew what her life COULD be like, she knew what it was like to feel loved... So suddenly life was even worse then it was before. And maybe that's something that needs to be considered when trying to help children like this, if you know you aren't going to be able to stick around forever. Because... It hurt Sheila so bad. Sheila was more damaged, more betrayed, by Torey leaving then basically anything else that had happened.

This entire book was just... Wow. It finally came out that the reason Sheila was angry at Torey so often, the reason she always seemed to have this undercurrent of deep anger towards her, was because Sheila thought it was Torey who abandoned her on the highway. Her memories had fused together or something, and she honestly remembered it as *Torey* being the one who abandoned her on the highway, instead of her mom. That really speaks volumes about just how hard it was for her when Torey left.

I'm very, very, VERY glad to know that Sheila did turn out okay, despite all the shit that happened to her. That she's doing well and ended up working at McDonalds and becoming fairly stable, I'm so thankful to know that. But all in all, this book was... sobering. Kinda like, finding out at the end of a fairytale that none of it was real. It's just... I've always seen Torey Hayden as this savior, this amazing person who changes children's lives for the better, who is basically the reason these children were able to make it despite their situations.... But it turned out it wasn't like that with Sheila, her life didn't *stay* better after Torey left, and now I'm wondering how many other children had that same thing happen. I know Torey did what she could to help Sheila, and she probably did in certain ways, but it's just... I dunno. It's kinda sad.

bookcrazy23: (Default)
2010-09-17 11:22 pm

musings about The Tiger's Child by Torey Hayden

Musings, I guess that's the right word. Babblings, mostly. Because otherwise when I write the actual review, it'll be roughly ten pages. lol

  I'm roughly halfway through this book right now. It's the true-story sequel to another of Torey Hayden's books, and my very favorite of hers, One Child. That book told the story of Sheila, a 6-year-old who was placed in Torey's class for "emotionally disturbed" children after she had severely burned a three year old boy. She was placed in Torey's class because, quite simply, everyone else was too scared to take her on. Everyone else thought the child was beyond help. And sometimes it seems, reading the book, that maybe Torey thought that too, when things got especially hard. Sheila was not an easy child, that's for sure. But in the five months that she was in Torey's classroom, her life was changed. Dramatically. The book ended with hope and a ray of light at the end of the tunnel, and it's impossible not to love this child.

It's also impossible not to wonder what happened to her after she left Torey's classroom. Which is the question that The Tiger's Child answers. And honestly, I cried when I found out the answer. Okay, so I cry a lot, whether it's a true-story novel or not. But I think there was such hope at the end of that first book, and I think there was this assumption that Sheila's life would get better and better as time went on, because of her time in Torey's classroom and how much Torey helped her. I mean, to go from nearly electively mute and lashing out in shockingly violent acts anytime she was upset, to this gifted bright child who warms your heart... It's a fairytale, almost. And I guess I hoped it would stay that way.

And so I was understandably upset when I learned that Torey had been unable to stay in touch with Sheila after that life-changing year, that they had lost track of each other for years. That Sheila's father had ended up back in jail. That Sheila had been placed in multiple foster homes. And maybe, most confusing and disappointing of all, that when Torey finally reconnected with a then-thirteen-year-old Sheila, the girl had almost no memory of that "life-changing" time they spent together.

I mirrored Torey's pain in that regard. As I read, we *both* realized that her memories of that time were just that: HER memories. And just as everyone has different viewpoints on how any one situation happened, Sheila had different memories of her time with Torey. She was only six years old, and although it was a very intense five months, many of the things Torey remembered so fondly were things Sheila didn't remember at all. It confused and hurt Torey, and me too. How could someone not remember something so intensely monumental? And then I had to put the book down for a few minutes, and I thought rationally, and I realized that I don't remember much about being six years old, either. Small snippits, little flashes of memory, but nothing big or complete. When I picked up the book and read on, that's exactly what Torey realized, as well. And she was having a hard time relating to this 13-year-old Sheila, because she was so completely different from the little girl Torey remembered.

And so I'm reading this book. And I'm stopping every few pages to let everything sink in, to rein in my emotions, etc, just like I have to do with every single Torey Hayden book I read. This are not easy books to read. Not length-wise or language-wise, but emotionally. It's almost like, in reading One Child (and re-reading it), Sheila had become as real to me as any child I've known in real life. So I'm having just as hard of a time getting used to this teenage-Sheila as if I knew her in real life. And it's... it's weird. The whole thing is weird, because I'm so used to Torey-as-a-teacher, with her special-ed kids and the classroom that becomes almost like it's own little family, and this book is different. Even though there are other kids, the focus is shifted and it's kind of hard to sink into.

..... Holy carp, I've written this much about this book and I'm only halfway through it? Wow.



bookcrazy23: (Default)
2010-09-03 10:47 pm
Entry tags:

new review, glbt books

Okay, so I'm going to cross-post a review I just put up on LibraryThing.... I might do this every once in awhile.

   Gravel Queen, by Tea Benduhn

This was a *wonderful* book and the only reason it's not going in my "special omg must keep" pile is I have a friend who wants it. But yes. Awesome book.

I really liked that this book didn't just focus on the "omg lesbian!" part, that relationship and consequences and stuff... It was more about Aurin's life, her friendship with Kenney and Fred, her crazy household, and getting to know the "new girl" was very much in the background for awhile. Even when things started happening, it was so much about herself, her life, her friends, not just "omg lesbian!". Don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing books that are more blatant and centered around that, but I think this is a bit more realistic. Coming out and/or realizing it isn't going to be the only thing going on in your life at that moment, and many books act like it is. I really liked that this book was different in that respect.


         


Some more of my favorite YA glbt books. Annie on My Mind is simply a classic. Keeping You a Secret I read long ago and don't remember it all that well (I'd like to read it again someday).... but I remember Crush very very well. I remember wanting to throw it across the room a few times toward the end. It's NOT a happy book, let me tell you that. It's so cute and fluffy and happy for awhile, but that's a trick. Lexie, the girl the main character Jinx fell for, was such a complete and utter bitch, and the stunts she pulled when things started coming out and people started finding out about them... NOT RIGHT, GIRL! ..... But it's written really well and it'll stay in my collection for a long time, I'm sure.
(Read my full review for Crush at LibraryThing)
www.librarything.com/work/35678/reviews/31890035

bookcrazy23: (Default)
2010-09-02 05:46 pm

pictures! (I hope. if it works right)

I figure a nearly-empty journal is going to make me less enthusiastic about coming back constantly, so let's start filling it up!




Above is my To Be Read bookcase. That means that every single book on there, I haven't read yet. Slowly but surely. I have them all organized with labels like "horses", "animals" "life", "true story" "writing/research" and of course "Bathory". (I have a bit of a fascination with Countess Elizabeth Bathory).





This bookshelf here is all my Nancy Drew books. I looooove Nancy Drew. I've read probably over 100 MORE then are pictured here, these are only the ones I've deemed worthy to keep. lol

I do prefer YA books, stuff like Nancy Drew, Animal Ark, I still like Sweet Valley books... I read some of the heavier stuff, but my mind is always gravitation toward YA. I try not to defend it anymore, 'cause if I like it, why does it matter what others think?

Oh. YO! If anyone reads this, just a little not-so-subtle fyi that comments are always appreciated!
bookcrazy23: (Default)
2010-09-01 11:44 pm
Entry tags:

first post is always awkward

.... I'm such a bad blogger, why on earth do I even make these things?

Well. This is my book-blog. Have a look-see. Nothing here yet. Don't worry, I'll be babbling about books pretty soon.

For now, just look at the cute little icon-thingy my wonderful friend Akatari made for me, long ago: